dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
