Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So much rum. So many feels.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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