Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
