She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
