I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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