There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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