Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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