There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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