Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
