I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
