Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
