Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
