So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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