I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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