My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
