I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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