Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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