Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
