she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
