We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
