He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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