Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How external is "for external use only"?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
