Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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