The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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