you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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