if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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