He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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