im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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