Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
