I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
