apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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