I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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