So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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