I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
