i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
