I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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