She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
