blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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