Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
