What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
