She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
