her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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