I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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