i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
