Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
