I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
