Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
