Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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