So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
