I just cut my nipple shaving
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
