real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I looked at my own cervix.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
