Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
