I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he fucked my hip out of place.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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