If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
