he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My vagina is officially offended.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
