Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
A bitchslap is in order.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
