cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
