Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
